From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached. -Frances Kafka

Here we are four weeks post surgery. Seven months since this thing began. I have found myself creating tons of lists: things I haven’t been able to do, things that have changed, things I miss doing. I never really was a list kind of girl before, but like other things I have changed.

Things I haven’t been able to do:

• I haven’t been able to walk without crutches since April 9^th.
• I haven’t been able to aimlessly walk to do anything since January. Every step is calculated and for a purpose.
• I haven’t been able to take Neiko for a walk longer than 100 feet.

Things that have changed:

• I now have a better appreciation for my mom. If not for her, I wouldn’t have been able to get through this.
• I see who is willing to stand by me through hard times verse those who stand by me as long as I help them. Once I stop helping them, they no longer have any reason to stay.
• I now have better posture then I have had most of my life.
• Today I’m stronger than I have been any day since January 9^th.

Things that I miss doing:

• YOGA! If anything I can’t wait to get back to this.
• Jumping in my car and driving anywhere at the spur of the moment.
• Being able to run around with Neiko and Lila.

Where does this leave me? With a new understanding and clarity of some grey areas. There’s sadness because things have changed. But since this last surgery, every day I have gotten a little bit stronger and more steady.

So onward and upward is the only way to go….